« Back to Blog

Follow your heart. Your intuition knows.

February 28, 2014

How can we tell when our heart (as opposed to our logical mind or negative emotions) is speaking to us? I, for one, wanted to know that so badly that I took the time to find out, and then put the information in a book called, Your Heart Knows the Answer. I discovered that the voice of our heart has many clear, distinct characteristics that differentiate it from our thoughts and emotions (what I called the voices in our head.) Since we may not be used to listening for what our hearts know, it’s best to think of listening for it as a skill. It is the skill of distinguishing the difference between the two. I discovered that these two voices have many distinctions, including: intention; key words and phrases; guiding themes; physical sensations and feelings; and quality and tone of voice.


As our personal built-in coach and motivator, our authentic self encourages and empowers us to shoot for our dreams and fulfill our life’s potential. Without fail, her words, gently or not so gently, steer us back on course whenever you veer off—and we always veer off sometimes, because we’re human. Her voice says, “You know you can do it!”

For example, it  inspires you to join the PTA; volunteer at the local food bank or work for a candidate’s political campaign. It inspired you to help that elderly woman carry her groceries home the other day. It has led you to perform these services, because it is the voice that gently urges you to temporarily put your own needs aside to help others.


It also whispers in your ear, “Open that gift shop you’ve been dreaming of owning,” or “Stay home with your children if that’s what you want. You’ll find a way to make it work financially. Trust.”

By contrast, the voices in your head intend just the opposite for you. They will present whatever arguments or rationalizations they can to keep you down.

Key Words and Phrases

If you are anything like me, the voices in your head probably “should” you to death (i.e., they tell you that you should do this or shouldn’t do that). “Don’t Should on Me” reads a sign which hangs in my friend’s bathroom. Wouldn’t it be great if we all had that sign hanging in our homes? Better yet, if we didn’t need to have it—if we knew and trusted the voice of our heart.

The voices in our head fuels our emotions. In fact, getting lost in our emotions is sometimes just a clever way to avoid hearing the voice of our heart. Then you don’t have to face what it is telling you. Don’t you know what I mean?

 Guiding Themes

The voice of our heart has one job: to remind us of our truth. Its guiding themes allow us to fulfill our  potential in life. It reminds us that all our life experiences are designed to teach us something, even if, in the moment, we don’t know what the lesson is. Our inner voice doesn’t have to know “why.”

Women commonly battle ego-based feelings of unworthiness, failure, the sense of being an impostor, and the need to understand “why.” Did you ever have the experience of acing a test in school or of achieving great success in your career, yet feeling that your accomplishment resulted from luck and that, eventually, you would be “found out”? Did you ever feel deeply disappointed and frantic to know “why” things happened as they did, so that the next time you could make things turn out differently—so that you’d be in control?

I’m not saying that soul-searching and introspection aren’t valuable. They are. But there’s a big difference between wanting to better understand your life, and desperately “needing” to understand. The former comes from the desire to know your own truth—what your heart knows; the latter from fear and the need to be in control.

In addition, the voices in our head keep us wishing for things, while discouraging us from taking action to make those wishes come true. This kind of inactive wishing is a true waste of our time and our energy.

Physical Sensations and Feelings

Hearing the voice of our heart leaves us feeling much more relaxed and calm than does hearing the voices in our head. You may experience an openness or an expansiveness from within—a feeling that you are one with the Universe. Or that anything is possible. You may also experience a feeling of inner spiritual warmth and loving energy—a tingling within. Or perhaps you feel chills or a pulsing energy.

By contrast, when our ego voice is speaking we may experience a kind of “blackness” or a “closing in.” We might feel choked, as if someone has shut down our spirit’s oxygen supply. Our stomach or facial muscles may tighten. We may also feel a pained look creeping across our face, the look of feeling like a failure. We might ache deep down inside, as if our very essence was being ignored or violated.

Quality and Tone of Voice

I found many. Here are just a few:

The voice of our heart is always there.

The voice of our heart is always in present time.

The voice of our heart is direct and specific.

The voice of our heart speaks with unconditional love.

Leave a Reply

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.

Please solve the problem above for security reasons.