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The rite of self-compasssion.

July 05, 2015

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Why is it so easy to have compassion for others, yet so difficult to have it for ourselves? Personally, I am the first one to kick myself when I’m down.

However, the other day when I was going through a rough patch, I found self-compassion. My emotions took me for a ride, and were it not for my clear intent to love myself I would have faltered. This experience made me realize that, while having self-compassion is our natural way it can feel counter-intuitive. We get too many messages over the years telling us otherwise.

My mother, God rest her soul, taught me to be “nice” above all, which I interpreted as meaning that being self-compassionate was a selfish act. Yet, she had more compassion for me than anyone in the world. Talk about receiving mixed messages. Looking back, I realize that my mother didn’t have much self-compassion. I can only guess about my grandma …

Yet, just because we’ve lived a certain way our entire lives doesn’t justify continuing to do so. As women, we have the power and the responsibility to nurture ourselves …  so that we can nurture our children … so that we can bring light into the world. If not now, when?

So make a promise to yourself: The next time you’re feeling down and want to give up on yourself, choose differently. Close your eyes, and find that inner sanction that knows that you, alone, have the power to change your life for the better. The only person you can count on to love yourself is you. Tweet This When your emotions try taking over, tell them, “Thank you for sharing. Now go sit in the corner.” Tweet This Make this a priority, and soon your emotions will begin losing their power. Believe this, because it is true.


6 Responses to “The rite of self-compasssion.”

  1. Heck yea! The most important relationship you can have is the one you maintain with yourself! Gail, this is such an important message that many people will benefit from!

    • Thanks, Debbie. I needed to tell this to myself, so I figured why not include whomever else is drawn to it at this time. I really appreciate your support, as always.

  2. Great post Gail, I love this statement, “Just because we’ve lived a certain way our entire lives doesn’t justify continuing to do so.” Amen to that sistah! Break the patterns that do not serve and move on self-compassionately – which is self-love and nothing selfish about it. This benefits not only us but all our relationships. Laguna Hugs!

    • Actually, that was my favorite line, too. Because it is so true and where we can get stuck. Need to say it out loud. Boston hugs back at you. I’ll take Laguna hugs any day.

  3. This is such wise advice.

    My daughter is a teen and 0ften, she’s her worst critic. In those moments I’ll let her know that no one, not even her, is allowed to talk to such a special person in that way.

    I wonder what the world would be like if we had more self-compassion and self-love. Good thing you’re sharing about it!

    • Hi Lori,

      Your daughter is blessed to have you as her mom. I think the world would be a much different place. All we can do is focus on ourselves and our children, and keep the right company. I can find self-compassion more easily now than when I was younger. I’ve had to make discovering who I am a priority. Sometimes it is still difficult. But I know what I am after. I think thats the first step. Thanks for sharing your and your daughter’s experience.

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Gail Harris Author