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Learning to love and accept yourself—really.

December 20, 2013

I was driving to Boston the other day, and instead of it taking me the usual thirty-five minutes it took me over two hours. The traffic was insane. Sitting in the car was torture; however, I noticed that I was deriving some sort of perverse pleasure from imagining how I would complain about it when I arrived.

Oh, the drama. Poor me. It got me thinking about why I had to take it with me. Why couldn’t I just let it go? Would complaining make me feel more significant? More important? More alive? I decided right then to challenge myself to NOT say a word about it when I arrived. Not one word. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could do it. After making the challenge, I became starkly aware of how strong the desire to share my experience was.

Not saying anything felt akin to not eating delicious food placed in front of me after having not eaten in days. I wondered, if I didn’t complain would I disappear into nothingness? Would I feel like I didn’t exist? The thought then occurred to me that that “nothingness” is really our true state. It’s just BEING, without any cloaks of protection or adornment. Just being our true selves. I think that without our stories and dramas part of us is afraid that we will just go poof in the night. But I have come to believe that when we embrace that state of “nothingness”—when can just show up naked in our humanness without having to primp and jump hoops to show our worthiness, we will be so much more alive, connected to everyone and everything around us—to all that is. To Spirit.

I think that being in that open state is where the miracles live. Watch. Give it a try and see what happens. Oh, I almost blew it, but I didn’t.

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