Before and Now

Here’s what women have shared with me about the ways their lives have been enriched after discovering what their hearts know:​​​

 

Before, I was uncomfortable meeting new people for fear of being rejected.
Now, I am at ease when meeting new people and actually enjoy it. — Amy

Before, I didn’t know how to be an equal partner in a relationship.
Now, I contribute my strengths and am the gatekeeper for intimacy between my husband and myself. — Beth

Before, I thought I was fat, ugly, unlovable, and didn’t have much to contribute to the world.
Now, I think I am pretty, I love my body, and I know in my heart that the yoga classes I lead contribute a lot to peoples’ lives. — Melissa

Before, I had relationships with men who didn’t value me.
Now, I have found the right man who loves me beyond my wildest dreams and treats me like a queen. — Barbara

Before, I battled those negative inner voices that said I was bad.
Now, I just tell those voices (and the part of myself who is speaking them) to just “go sit in the corner.” — Fran

Before, even though I am an adult, I needed my parent’s approval for things.
Now, I am my own person, completely separate from my parents. I can enjoy them more as individuals. — Jan

Before, I was often tense and stressed out.
Now, I’m more relaxed and can better go with the flow. — Jen

Before, I would binge and starve myself and exercise compulsively.
Now, I have a healthy attitude around food and also with my body. — Sarah

Before, I would listen to doctors, no matter what they told me.
Now, I only listen if I trust them. — Gale

Before, I needed to have all the answers. I couldn’t tolerate the “not-knowing.” I needed to know WHY things are as they are.
Now, I can rest more comfortably in the unknown. To quote the poet Rilke, “I am more comfortable living the questions.” — Mary

Before, I used to be afraid to stay alone at night when my husband went away on business trips.
Now, I don’t let my fear get the better of me. I can stay alone and feel more at peace. — Charlene

Before, when I argued with my husband, I would blame him and be defensive.
Now, I look at my own part in the argument, and in turn, he does, too, so, we quickly resolve our differences. — Angela

Before, I found it difficult talking with my brother, because I didn’t accept him as he is.
Now, I no longer have the need to change him and our communications are much easier. — Lynn

Before, I wanted to be friends with everybody.
Now, I am much more discriminating about who I spend time with. I choose to be alone rather than be with someone who doesn’t support my growth. — Marsha

Before, I believed that taking care of myself meant that I was being selfish.
Now, I realized that I can’t take care of anyone else’s needs, if I don’t take care of my own. — Tara

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Gail Harris Author