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Bonding with your adopted baby.

November 11, 2013

In recognition of National Adoption Awareness Month,TodayMOMS ran a week-long celebration called, “Choosing Adoption.” One of their articles talked about, “that, ‘maternal ‘moment’—when parents first bond with their adopted child.” They asked parents whether it was during that fateful phone call, the first soothing or cuddle, whether they experienced love at first sight or had felt the bond with their child in their dreams, when looking at their photo or reading an email.

For me, I think the bond just always was. When I chose adoption as my path to motherhood, I didn’t know who my child would be or that he would be a boy or when he would arrive or from where. But I think that my trust in my life unfolding exactly as it should was my bond with my son. I just knew that my baby (whoever she or she would be) and I were meant to be mother and child. So when I laid eyes on my son at the hospital at thirty-six-hours-old, and then held him, I felt as comfortable as any mother feels with her newborn child. Of course, this is just my experience. For me, holding an intention to experience my life not as a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived allows me to be open to whatever life has in store for me, to say “yes” to it wholeheartedly. So, perhaps, I have felt bonded with my son since the beginning of time. Whatever the bond, I sure do treasure the many gifts and challenges that motherhood is bringing me.


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Gail Harris Author